My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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