it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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