You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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