I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
