Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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