Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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