The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
