im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
