I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
