Me. At least after what I've been through.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
