holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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