Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
