Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
