i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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