I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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