Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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