i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Randomize