You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
honey bunches of taint.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
