Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Operation Purity has been aborted
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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