I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
