She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
