id be glad to
her vagine was all disorganized.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
