He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize