i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
