I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
