Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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