? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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