i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
