My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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