Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I need a burrito and a hug.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
