And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
