During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
