I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
