Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
