I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
organizing the empties. That sober.
you inspire me to be a worse person
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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