So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize