We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize