he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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