Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
