Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize