I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The power of my boobs compel you
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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