Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
