my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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