i think i have herpe
just one?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize