We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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