Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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