Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
