Just fell off a train. Bad.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize