We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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