Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
