Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
