Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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