Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
wow bdsm is so cute
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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