Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
