she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
