Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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