too bad you live with your parents still
Ketchup is God's man juice
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
