why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
